Why We Don't Change

Why don’t we make the changes we say we want to make?


Most people say they want to change certain things in their lives, but when push comes to shove, they have a really hard time actually making it happen.


This weekend gave me some insight into that!

For the past several years, there were changes I wanted to make to our flower beds. One of the biggest changes involved removing an aggressive ground cover. I really don’t like killing plants. But the vinca growing in our flower beds was choking out anything else I would plant. So, out with the old and in with the new!


That sounds easy, but it has been anything but!


We have spent days ripping out massive amounts of vinca, and it has been exhausting! I just want to get to the fun part of actually putting in the new plants!


I knew that this change would be difficult, which is why I’ve been putting it off for years. I really wanted the new flowers and plants, but I couldn’t face having to do the hard work of removing what was already growing. Now that the project us underway, I find myself saying things like:

• Why didn’t I do this sooner?

• If I’d done this a long time ago, I wouldn’t have to be doing this now!

• This would have been easier if I’d gotten to this earlier.

As these questions perpetually looped in my head, I realized that these are all things I and my clients have said as we have navigated life transitions!

There are 2 big reasons why change is so challenging. The first is because it requires a LOT of energy to let go of the things that aren’t working in our lives anymore. The second reason is because it’s really not fun to face the shame of not making the change sooner. It’s easier to just keep putting off making the changes. That is, until it gets SO bad, we just can’t stand it anymore.

In this episode of Growing in Uncertainty, I talk about the process of facing the potential energy drain and the self-directed shame that can come with life transitions. You’ll learn about a powerful mindset shift that will help you to prepare your internal landscape for planting the seeds of change.

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